¡Tierra y Libertad!

First of all. Happy Easter, let's not forget the sacrifice that Christ made for us and the victory that He has brought the world in His triumph over death.

Blogger.com has failed us. It seems that in the initial bliss that ensued globally with our first few blog posts, there were far too many comments made in far too short a time - temporarily shutting down servers, and unfortunately - for you and those who will be born after you - the thousands upon thousands of suggestions that we could have taken and made great have been lost. Only one comment remained - a suggestion to make hamburgers.

It was a simple request - take your meat, marinate said meat, add marinated fruit, grill everything, then consume. Upon closer reading, however, we realized just how fundamentally wrong the request had been. It hadn't been a suggestion at all - Justin must have been seized by some sort of evil Food Network spirit and in that moment of culinary madness had thought it appropriate to commit the most grievous of sins - he gave us a recipe.

In our infinite alchemical-Solomonic wisdom, we took the baseness and blandness of a teriyaki burger and brought it South - and either very far east or very far west. We created a hamburger - no, a hamburguesa - that has the hurtle-jumping potential to reverse the way in which our Southern border is jumped on a daily basis. Channeling our inner Mexican eagle, we fashioned a burger too hispanic for a bun, and too tasty for an English title. chicas y chicos, we give you the Hamburguesa Mas Alla De Creencia (The Burger Beyond Belief).

Vegetarians, we know you've been waiting for that perfect opportunity to do what you know you were born to do - consume other animals. Well, wait no longer. This delicious cow-pig concoction will have you buying fur coats and animal-tested shampoo in no time at all. In fact, since it's public revealing in mexico some twenty three minutes ago, it's incandescent orange grease has been praised for its medicinal qualities. So, do what feels right - and instead of eating grass and acorns, try eating something that could easily eat you.

So. Let me conclude with the wise words of that most famous of Mexican Revolutionaries, our very own Pancho Villa: "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

Pancho says "Goobye, until next time."

LA HAMBURGUESA MAS ALLA DE CREENCIA (THE BURGER BEYOND BELIEF)

By Natreed Bernelnick

Ingredients:

6 pearl Onions

4 roma Tomatoes

¾ can Enchilada Sauce

¼ cup chopped cilantro

1 can black beans

1 prolonged squirt of honey

¾ cup yellow corn

1 head lettuce

1 pound ground beef

1 pound chorizo Mexican sausage

1 package shredded asiago cheese

1 small container lime juice

1 package tortillas

1 plantain

* Butter

* Cooking oil

* Salt

* Toothpicks

Directions:

Combine pearl onions, roma tomatoes, garlic, and chopped cilantro in blender. Set mixture aside. Pulverize black beans into paste. Mix paste, tomato mixture, corn, and enchilada sauce in food processor and chop until sauce consistency. Add salt with discretion. Fry plantain (use instructions on plantain). Set aside. Mix chorizo sausage and beef. Form into patties and grill. When finished, take 1 tortilla, spread shredded asiago cheese. Place atop 1 patty, fried plantain slices, and lettuce. Generously add salsa. Wrap in tortilla. Flip it over onto another tortilla with asiago cheese. Wrap and pin with toothpicks. Brush on melted butter. Place on grill, flipping once and brushing on more butter. Cook until golden brown. Enjoy.