Saturday, March 20, 2010

Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

If you are at all one of the lucky human beings residing in this specific space-time continuum, then there's no doubt that you've seen BBQ Pit Masters. Not only is it the pinnacle of Mom-jean TLC network television, but as most of the guys here at college will attest, it may truly be the vortex of all civilization, as far as one can know. Basically, the show features some of this most bizarre people we've ever seen cooking some of the tastiest meat we've ever seen. Any time spent watching will quickly introduce you to the BBQ god himself - Myron Mixon. The man's nuts and no one can really understand what he's saying. Every third or fourth word has been tactfully replaced with a beep tone. But upon watching it for the first time, we could swear he was encouraging us to cook our own. So, lucky for you, we took his advice.

Now, let me warn you. Even though most recipes are from Satan, BBQ sauce is by far the most difficult thing we've cooked - and if you're not ready to spend all of a Saturday afternoon mixing ingredients together, then you better wait till your older and more mature. The research for this recipe was particularly short - we just woke up, knew instinctively that what Myron said would come true, and headed to the food-mecca of the world, Kroger.

We began with tomato paste. Then we spent the next few hours pulling something like a Michaelangelo - cutting everything away from that tomato sauce that wasn't BBQ goodness. Well, except we added things to it instead.

After we made the sauce, we put it on a shoulder. But you don't want to brush this shoulder off. Both of us decided that it was some of the best BBQ we've had and are lucky and grateful that some of it is still with us in our fridge. So. Moral of the story - listen to Myron like he's your mother. Or a prophet. Or if your mother was a prophet, then just your mother. But, don't try BBQ unless you're cool - its development resists the proud and the ignorant. Fortunately for you, we are neither. Here we go:

VALLEY ROAD STYLE BBQ
By Natreed Bernelnick

Ingredients:

3 cans tomato paste
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon ground mustard
1 ¼ tablespoon salt
½ cup molasses
1 mango
1 large onion
2 strips bacon
1 bunch green onion
3 grilled jalapenos
¼ cup Worchester sauce
⅓ cup honey
¼ cup vinegar
4 tablespoon liquid smoke
1 bulb colossal garlic
1 pork shoulder
* Use water to thin – with discretion

Directions

Cook pork shoulder at 300 degrees for 5 hours. While cooking, add all ingredients in a large cooking pot to make sauce. When shoulder is done, tear into bite-size pieces using two forks. Add sauce until each piece is covered, but do not use more than that. Enjoy.



1 comment:

  1. WHIPPLE THIS BARBECUE

    This is my take on Eastern North Carolina style barbecue. It was quite a hit at my last cookout, so thanks for the inspiration, guys!

    I bought a pork shoulder at the Blacksburg farmers market, which may have been more expensive than a grocery store, but it feels good to support a local farmer. Now that it's early May and pork is more in season, prices should hopefully go down.

    The sauce has a sweet tangy flavor and is savory with quite a kick.

    Ingredients (sauce):
    1 cup apple cider vinegar
    1 cup Jim Beam bourbon
    1 tablespoon cup brown sugar (probably a little more than that)
    1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
    1 tablespoon red pepper flakes (adjust for preference)
    1 tablespoon ground cayenne pepper (adjust for preference)
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon black pepper

    Other Ingredients:
    4 cloves garlic
    2-4 leaves fresh basil
    1/2 onion

    Mince the garlic, onion and basil. Cut 1 inch incisions into the pork and cram all three into each incision, or use an injector if you have one. Loosely wrap the pork shoulder in aluminum foil to trap in the juices. Put in a metal pan and place in 300 degree oven for 5 hours.

    Place all sauce ingredients into pot on stove and simmer on medium low heat (need to cook out the alcohol). Keep stirring and don't leave it on the stove for more than 10 minutes or too much of the sauce will evaporate. I learned this the hard way and had to make more sauce.

    When the pork is done, pull it into bite size pieces into serving pan. The garlic and onion melt into the pork! Pour the sauce over the pork. You can eat it right then or let it set in the fridge overnight. Enjoy!

    -Cousin J

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